God Strikes a Match

It was the very last day of my birthday staycation at a Boise riverside hotel. I had already packed up and had a friend join me for the breakfast buffet. Just ten minutes before checkout, I said, “Why don’t we sit on the patio outside the room for a few minutes?” It had been my favorite spot during my stay and that morning was a perfect seventy degrees. We went out and sat together, taking in the sights and sounds of the activity in the courtyard. That’s when the thought hit me it was the perfect opportunity to pray and thank the Lord. So we did.

We initiated a conversation with Father God, without an agenda or any fancy words. We just breathed in God’s goodness and exhaled our burdens and gratitude for His tender care for us. It was while I was asking God to lead us and guide us that an image appeared in my mind of a match being struck and igniting. Since the image was so clear and had my attention, I shared it with my friend, thanking God for striking a match in us. That’s about when our time was up. We loaded my things in my truck and I left the hotel. My heart was full and I knew my time away was a miracle and a gift.

This birthday was another tough one; I was navigating both physical illness and altered life. My last one came with the shock of my life, my husband’s birthday into heaven. So, I decided early on that it’d be best if I was away from home, where it all took place. I did my research to find somewhere that felt right. My criteria were to have room service, a restaurant, and be more than just a room. I found just the place. There were a few restaurants and two of them had daily live music, which reminded me of just how my life used to be. This happened to be where I spent the first night of my honeymoon and also had the memorial service for Lee Gaupp, my now late husband. Wow, that’s the first time I’ve used that term.

I don’t understand this part of my story and it is difficult to live. Every single way I have lived my life has been affected by both the losses that come with losing my husband and the losses experienced with chronic illness. But what I do know is: that I am more than the sum of my physical abilities on any given day, more than the landscape of my life, and more than my emotions in this valley.

Here’s my short list of losses: doing life as two to one, my present and my future plans, my schedule, the way I wake up and go to sleep, the way I eat, who I eat with, how often I leave the house, social interaction, friendships, how I get groceries, how I get my laundry done, cooking, household tasks, and maintenance, how I interact with my grandkids, the homeostasis of my body to remain steady in every position, the ability to lift anything of weight, who fills my car with gas, who takes out the trash, amount of time spent alone, insurance, income, who pays the bills, handyman, not having 24/7 tech support and help, who knows the highs and lows of my day, the loss of the one who was my biggest advocate, saw my strength and my weakness, and validated both my joy and my sorrow.

I know I am not the only person with challenges. Life is an uneven playing ground in the area of our physical bodies and in our circumstances. But there is one area that doesn’t have to be that way! It’s in our spiritual life with the Lord we can all be on a level playing field! In weakness, He gives us strength and He empowers us in the midst of our inabilities.

God is the Light in this dark world. And He has the ability to get your attention just as He did with the image He gave me. Even though I don’t feel the heat of that flame, I know the match is lit. And I sense He is about to do more.

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” John 1:5

Thanks for clicking in and joining me here. This post is the first of three. I’ll be finishing the rest of this story of what God did for me on the next two blogs. Until then, may God make Himself known in your life in new ways!